MONDAY

From Alabama Chanin.  Just got an e-mail from them, and went to the site, great stuff!

A few new things on my own site, more to come soon.  We took a lot of photos on Friday, and half of them were just horrible, so reshooting, weather permitting, today. 

On to another subject, and I know this will be a sensitive one--Blogs are still a relatively new thing, and the fact that readers can participate by leaving comments has opened up a whole new world--some of that world is not so pretty.  Most of the comments on my blog are pretty tame, but I have read comments on other blogs that are beyond mean, and some are just sycophantish,  but there are some that are truly constructive and interesting.  Sometimes people will post links to relevant things, and I find those useful and enjoyable, but I sure don't enjoy visiting a blog and reading mean, pointless comments.

Jane and I choose not to screen our comments because we feel if we are putting ourselves out there, people should be able to say what they want.  We will certainly remove comments that we think might be offensive to people.  My only real complaint about comments is that as the creator of my blog, I feel sometimes comments change the content of a blog.  I hope that makes sense.  One of my favorite blogs just removed the comment section of her blog, and I totally support her decision.  I can see where some blogs could reach that point.  I know that so many of you have blogs of your own, and I would LOVE to hear you feedback about comments.  I'm not trying to stir any controversy, I would love to open up a constructive conversation and hear your thoughts on comments!  

Now then--I'm off to get a Mac.  After a couple of months trying to get happy with a PC, I give up!!!  I hate it!  I want a Mac again....

Comments

[Desiree]

I completely agree with you. Some people comment without thinking that they could affect the blogger. Yes, you are able to speak your mind, but please filter it! I hate reading comments in my favourite blog, where people post rude comments. I mean if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. There are people out there who actually take the effort to write blog posts, and people who act sycophantish, as you would say is just downright demoralising.

On a lighter note, yay for Macs! I've never used a PC before because I find it so confusing, but it's probably cause my dad is a graphic designer and he uses Mac for most of his works and I follow in his footsteps. Which one will you be getting though?

Oh and by the way, I'm such a HUGE fan of your blog and Jane's blog. I visit it daily! It would be such an honour if you could comment on my blog! :) It would really make my day.

xx
Desiree
http://foragirlbyagirl.blogspot.com/

[V]

Thoughtful post regarding blog comments and commenters. I've always preferred to allow readers to post their comments on-the-spot, with as little effort as possible. Fortunately, I really haven't had any truly mean-spirited commentary. However, just today I changed my restrictions to require registration and sign-in to comment, because the comment spam is killing me.

I did have a situation once where someone I knew decided to take me to task on an allegorical post and this person's commentary was so verbose and holier-than-thou, that I had to reply via comment and leave it posted long enough for them to see it. But within a few days, I yanked the whole conversation (and blocked their IP address). I don't need someone telling me how I should live my life or judging me for the choices I have made. So I agree with removing comment functionality entirely if comments change the nature of a post or blog.

Blogs are our own creations, and in a world where we have very little control over spin and what others say, why NOT take complete control of your blog, you know? It's your creative endeavor. You're the boss/editor/contributor/creative director/publisher. If comments are hurtful, salacious, mean-spirited, or annoying, I say good riddance. At the end of the day, you are entitled to your opinion and if someone doesn't like your perspective, they need not visit again.

Anyway, you have a wonderfully creative blog. I love it!

[Prêt-à-Porter P]

yah some blogs people are just down right cruel. if they hate the blog so much i wonder why they keep on visiting every post! i think the real mean nasty comments are more of a reflection of what's going on in the commenter's life than the person's.

but i think if someone leaves just a nasty comment by all means delete it if you want to. think of it like your house, you take the garbage out.

on computers. im the opposite. i HATE all things Mac, they really beyond infuriate me. LOL!

[ana rita]

I just started blogging a few weeks ago, after an infinite time watching others, and what delayed my decision so much, besides the fact I am a in the last year of medical school, so I don't have a lot of time to spare, is the fact that I am absolutely terrified of what people migth say. I'm just starting to leave my blog link on comments and am still a little apprehensive, people can be pretty mean... lets see how it goes. I wish all the best for you and Jane, I absolutely adore either one of your blogs*

http://mots-d-amour.blogspot.com/

[Sister Wolf]

I love how Desiree doesn't know what a sycophant is, and then proceeds to be one. I like how no one knows that the word is "sycophantic" not "sycophantish."

If we didn't have comments, small pleasures like these would be denied us.

Blogs whose intent is to show off the blogger's wardrobe are not likely to elicit intelligent comments. But I think you should treasure the mean ones! I LOVE my mean ones.

Finally, why be afraid of stirring up controversy? Life is short; before you know it, you're using a walker. Shake things up, Mom of Shoes!

[Leia]

I always try to post nice comments, so I don't have much to say on that issue! I don't choose to moderate or restrict comments on my blog but I have been lucky in that there haven't been any nasty ones so far.

Also, yay for Macs! I bought one 3 years ago and have never looked back.

[susie q]

The thing that irks me is the time + energy it must take for those miserable negative, nasty commenters to share their horrid thoughts. Get a life, mean people. If they don't like what they read/see, they should just click off the site. As the owner + author, you have every right to delete any comment. On my blog, I persistently have one commenter who is a Debbie Downer. Nothing outright nasty, but always sooooo negative. Sometimes I delete her comments just because I'm tired of her disagreeable attitude. Otherwise, I LOVE my commenters. They have become online friends who check into my world almost daily.

And, yes, yay for Macs! I bought my first in 1994 and four of us in my graphic design studio shared it!

[Martha Ann]

I truly think comments are not necessary for enhancing the quality of your blog. I would suggest removing the comment section, and just adding an email me link, as an alternative. I think people send thoughtful emails, but don't always offer constructive feedback when allowed to comment at a whim. Cheers to you for keeping this blog your own creation - remember, it should be a great, positive experience for you! also, if you want to track the hits, etc, without allowing for comments, just be sure to update your settings. good luck!

[fashion roadkill]

My boyfriend is thinking about replacing our Dell with a Mac. I like the look them much better than regular PCs.
Regarding comment postings, I agree with you that there are many comments posted on blogs that are just plain mean and spiteful (usually an Anonymous poster) which I think are completely unnecessary. The constructive, interesting comments are warranted because everyone is entitled to their own opinion as long as they can back it up. Personally, I enjoy receiving comments..a lot, actually. I love reading the person's POV on what I've posted. I've never received a mean comment (knock on wood) but if I ever did, I would probably remove it. Sorry to babble on! Have a great day :)

http://fashionroadkill-halifax.blogspot.com

[K]

Any mean comments probably stem from the fact that it's very easy to be jealous of you--beautiful and stylish with a great relationship with your teenage daughters. I wish my mom and I could share in my love for vintage and design. Was that "sycophantish"...no...I or others may not always like your content, but it's yours loud and clear. No commenter can change that unless you let him.

[lisa from london]

I love reading comments on my blog and love to hear that readers appreciate reading my ideas. However I have read a fair amount of negative comments on other blogs. I think blogging is a new form of expression and so like art there is going to be controversy surrounding the content. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I believe blogging is a new art form and so controversy is inevitable. However that does not mean you don't have the choice to decide whether to tolerate it or not and I think it is good that as bloggers we have that option.

http://lisa-smalldetails.blogspot.com

[Allison]

I follow quite a few fashion blogs, via Google Reader, so I don't see the comments. In fact I only ever click through to the blog itself when the comments are mentioned in the post proper. Given my limited exposure I will say that it does seem to be the nature of such blogs that a large proportion of the comments are "OMG YOU'RE AMAZING", something which I very easily do without.

I do however read the comments of the non-fashion blogs I follow, and have discovered quite a few well written and interesting blogs, websites, and even products that way.

Just my observation.

[stephanie]

I think it depends on what the blog is to you. I moderate comments, because my blog is like a personal scrapbook, where a lot of my posts are often things that I want to see and go back to later. Therefore I don't want to read negative or destructive comments and be reminded of them every time I go back to that post. I also decided when I started my blog that I wouldn't post anything negative.

I think comments can be constructive without being mean. If I were to ask for an opinion on an outfit or something on my blog, I would want some actual honest feedback. "Your shoes don't work with the outfit" is vastly different from "your shoes are so ugly you fat cow" Mean comments are useless and I don't know why people take the time to post them.

[stephanie]

Oh, and I couldn't believe you got a PC after losing your Macbook! I COULD NEVER EVER GO BACK!!! Not even if somebody paid me.

[wingyee]

New macs are coming to town!!!Don't get the old version!!!
^.^

[Mara]

yay Macs are the best! Glad you're going back!

[anne]

in my personal code, I think it's fine for readers to make comments disagreeing or stating their opinion, and I like dissent, but you do it respectfully and constructively. maybe a good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't be comfortable saying it and supporting it to someone's face, perhaps it doesn't belong in a blog comment with you kind of using internet distance as a shield. I do dislike blog comments where the reader almost seems to relish venomously cutting down the blogger to size. what's the point of so much hate? part of me feels the blogger is the host, and if you visit her site, show your host some respect. if it's not your type of party, maybe move on. anyhow, that's my opinion. I know there are readers out there who feel it's their god-given right to blast out loud and clear on anything they please. and I guess it is their right if that's how the construe it. I just don't agree. sorry--kinda long!

[IYS]

I just started my blog a few months ago and thus far I have not had to deal with rude comments. I think comments are a nice feature on blogs because it is nice to see what other readers think. I'm a strong believer in constructive criticism, but it is a shame when people take advantage and post hurtful things.
Your blog is great and always a fun read!

[The Photodiarist]

I tend to agree with your assessment that if you put yourself out there in the form of a blog, then you open yourself up to criticism and sychophantic commentary. You also open yourself up to wonderful conversations and perspectives that you may not have considered or known but for someone leaving a comment on your blog (as in the case of this post where you have received a number of really thoughtful comments). Bloggers are, however, the masters of their respective blog-domains. So, if a comment is negative or is otherwise disturbing, a blogger can just delete them. I really enjoy reading the comments that I get on my blog. I am honored that people take the time to stop by when there are 15 million blogs out there to visit . . . and that on top of stopping by, they leave a comment. As one person above mentioned, I've even become "cyber-friends" with some folks in the course of our daily checks on each other's blogs. So, if I have to endure a few negative comments in order to enjoy the majority of awesome people that I have come to meet through their visits to my blog, then I will happily do so. I won't, however, get rid of the comment section. It is that very section that makes a blog a dynamic and diverse medium.

[The Photodiarist]

P.S. I got a macbook pro this year. I LOVE it. My PC is pouting in the corner as it no longer gets that much use!

[PAPERFASHION]

I definitely agree, sometimes the comment section makes the blog. It's always interesting to hear (read) what other people think and have to offer to a post. Although, there are often negative comments- there is a negative side to anything good. I can understand if someone is receiving too many negative comments, wanting to close the comment section. I bet that can be extremely overwhelming and destructive!

I do think people have their right to say things both negative and positive though... I don't think I'd ever close my comment section. Why post it if you don't want people to see it and have an opinion?

[Emily Rose]

Thanks for bringing up the issue of mean blog comments. It seems to me that hurtful and offensive blog comments only start appearing once a blog is relatively well known. My take on the matter is that very well known blogs, like Jane's or any of the other huge, globally recognized ones, have a sort of "celebrity" aspect to them. Readers who relish in the idea of unattainable, unreachable celebrity suddenly find themselves able to not only directly reach the person who is the object of celebrity via a comment, but also able to reach ALL of that "celebrity's" followers. I think this second thing is very new, and hence makes a lot of people run with it without thinking of the consequences on the person blogging. And what better way to actually be noticed in the comments section? Constructive comments require thought behind them, and imply a certain respect for the blogger, which these people obviously lack. Nice comments probably don't stand out, and certainly don't get a reply from other commenters. But malicious, hurtful, and offensive ones do (people come to the defense of the blogger in the comments section, etc.). The commenter is able to gain the attention of their celebrity, gain the attention of all of the readers of a blog, and in a sense, gain a little fame themselves. I understand the twisted logic that compels these people to leave terrible comments, although I definitely do NOT support it.

But what I do support is screening comments, because yes, you are putting yourself out there, but no, there is no rule in society (other than the rule created by rude commenters, gossip mags, etc) that says putting yourself out there gives others a right to criticize you in a mean spirit, rather than a constructive one. Anonymity doesn't suddenly exempt someone from the moral obligation to be respectful towards others. And nobody's success obligates them to endure hurtful comments from others, especially when stopping them is just a matter of clicking "display after owner's approval" and "don't allow anonymous comments". If hurtful comments never get put up, I imagine the number of them will be far less.

I read your blog all the time, so thanks so much for bringing up such a wide variety of interesting issues, amazing magazine spreads, and beautiful outfits and looks that you create!

[So Lovely]

My blog is an escape from my Hollywood life so I'm not concerned as to whether I receive bad comments or not. If I have received vitriol in the past, I almost find it humorous that they have taken the time to leave anything at all.
I do agree that because your blog is somewhat about fashion which is pricey, there will always be people who wish to comment about that in a vicious way.
I say: rise about it.

[Mel]

I always post cheerful comments because I can't imagine why someone would post something so mean (constructive criticism can be okay...to a point). If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. No one's forcing you to comment on anyone's post. That be said, I agree with everything you said. You go girl!

[Penny]

I got a mac a year ago and will NEVER go back again! THere are tiny seconds you save with a mac that start to add up and stick out when you don't have one!!
I've even elected to name my mac like it was a pet since I love it so! I call it "Candy" as in Candy Apple, and I named my sister's "Green". :)
I think that having to edit the comments stinks, but some people are just evil. You and Jane are getting to the point where people will begin to be jealous of the attention and opportunities you get(tho I think it is SO deserved!I've read since way back in the day, and ya'll should be proud! Go Texas!!:). The jealous people will probably say rude things, but it's something that comes with success and exposure. It makes me sad when people have to remove the comment sections cuz then there's less of a "dialogue" with them, which is one of my favorite things about blogs. But- I can understand the need to do that or remove individual comments-I've removed a couple myself. You and Jane get so many tho-starting to read and approve EVERY comment could prove to be too much to deal with.
The internet gives people the same kind of illusion of safety that a car does-they can scream at you like they do in traffic and not have to stand face to face with you cuz there's a barrier there and they can let out their frustration from their day or frustration with their situation on you. I wish there was a way to "flag" those people and disable their commenting ability on ur blog!

[Catherine]

A blog is a public forum, which is both good and bad. As a reader, you get the chance to immediately engage with the writer, which is wonderful. As a writer, you are opening up yourself to the unpredictable masses.

I think as a blogger, you have to accept that you're putting something out in the world and that some people will not like it. I screen my comments just in case, but I am willing to accept negative comments if they pertain to the topic. It's interesting though, that in many cases, the "haters" are called out by the other commenters. I say, let the bad eggs comment— the people who understand the true nature of the blog will continue to read it and defend its opinions, whether publicly in the comments section, or privately when they pass the url onto one of their friends.

You obviously started this blog because you have something to share— keep doing what you're doing!

[Angie]

Hey there,
I didn't read any of the other comments which probably have already said this.
But we cannot waist time trying to educate, or heal people. So there is not much more someone can do about the mean comments. Just feel sorry that they spending so much energy in a bad way. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!!!
On another note I think its really hard for many people to be happy for others beauty, or wealth or success. Don't forget we are living in depression... and sometimes its difficult to see how other seems to have it all and beyond.
In my case I love blogs, and have fun. Just wish that my tiny one could be as creative and fun as yours but Even though I am a fashionista I ve been overweight after my baby and dont feet in my beautiful outfits ha ha.
Love all!
Angie
www.angelicadebiase.com
www.glamporium.blogspot.com

[Mary @ StyleFyles]

Reading the dialogue in this post alone is proof alone why comments are a good thing. All the above points are well made and thoughtfully expressed. As a blogger, it's always great to receive comments, especially if they are insightful or flattering. This is one of the things that makes blogs more accessible than magazines...instant gratification as far as having conversations, building 'cyber' friendships with similar-minded people throughout the world.

The ideal situation is that everyone follows a 'play-nice' policy, but even then, everyone will have different ideas of what is acceptable and what is not. Also, sarcasm doesn't read well online (not that anyone should ever have the need to be snarky on a fashion blog).

The full removal of the comments section is sad, and I think, the blog loses a little when that happens. That said, I bet the majority of your readers dislike reading the negative comments just as much as you.

Such a bummer that you both have to deal with this, but on a positive note, it does mean you're doing something right! With any success will come followers, and detractors. I wish there were a simple, easy and clear cut way to trouble shoot it. And I know that screening comments on your blogs would be a full time job. Outside of hiring someone to maintain your comments section for you, I'm not sure there is an easy solution.

[arline]

I was wondering when you were going to go back to a mac. ;)
PC's scare me.

I don't like when I see flat out mean comments. It is just not necessary. I enjoy when people ask tough questions or give something for everyone reading, to think about.

Strong opinions are fine, but they don't have to be contentious or ugly.

xoxo

[donna]

In life you have to take the good with the bad. Mean people are everywhere, and although it can hurt to see malicious commentary, you're right in admitting that you put yourself out there.

Open commentary, good or bad, is natural. It happens to people of all kinds every day in the 3D (interweb being 2D), so the question of it happening on blogs is slightly redundant. You either ignore it or you sue (for slander), you either edit it or you don't.

PS. Does anyone else dislike commenters that absolutely have to post their blog links seperate from the section provided? That, to me, is the hallmark of 'sycophant' bloggerisms. It's not a popularity contest.

[Pearl Westwood]

Hi Judy, you sure opened up two of the hardest debates here! -PC all the way for me ha ha!
Luckily I haven't had any experience of awful comments but I have seen plenty on other blogs. I think perhaps I would just delete the down right rude ones, I have no complaint with constructive criticism, but really if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all. I think the sheer pleasure the nice comments bring me however, far out weighs any bad ones. I would still read my favourite blogs comments or not - at the end of the day it is the blog that is the main interest.
Hope the re-shoot goes well,
Pearl

[Katie]

Actually, both sycophantish and sycophantic can be the adjective form of sycophant (referring to Sister Wolf's post).

When I use my PC, it feels drab and cumbersome compared to the Mac. I don't think I would ever completely switch back to a PC.

I never understood why bloggers feel so reluctant to filter comments. Anonymity breeds a lot of hatefulness. Why allow it? Even if you're trying to abide by the principle of free speech, there is a difference between free speech and hate speech.

[Ivy Lane]

Well said!!! Happy Monday!!!

P.S... I love visiting your blog! :)

[c lo]

I've been doing this for over 10 years now and the mean element just seems to get worse over time. Well, I think that it's just more and more people get online so the percentage of mean people seems to grow. My personal opinion is that you can't control that aspect of the internet. On my own blog, I just delete those comments, no muss no fuss. I don't believe in really addressing them because I think it just feeds them.

I understand the idea of comments changing the intent of the blog........but I think that should be allowed. Not everyone is going to read your words how you intend them and you can't change that. For me, I just shrug it off. If it bothered you that much, though, I don't think it's the end of the world to turn off comments.......as a "fan" it kind of would suck to have that method of communication cut off but I think we'd all live. I'd still read. :)

[Barbara]

I think you should do whatever works best for you...all comments, screened comments, or no comments. The great thing is that there is no right or wrong.

[JHHiatt]

Perhaps it would help if you think of your blog as a party, with yourself as the hostess -- you have an obligation to protect everyone who attends from a guest who becomes rude or obnoxious--you eiher ask them to tone it down, or leave.

Also, I think guests come to a party with an obligation to be polite and to contribute interesting and entertaining conversation.

So, for all of us who come visit your blog daily, spare us both the bores and the boors! I skim past the posts that say no more than "Oooooh, that's so cool", as well as those that are nasty, but I'd rather not encounter either.

Maybe another way to think about it is that you are the editor of a little magazine and the comments you allow to be posted should be of interest to your readers.

I visit several blogs where you can post comments "on approval", and I appreciate it -- I'm much more likely to read the comments on a site with that policy. Also, I suspect it would make it a bit easier for you -- those who don't see their comments appear will give up and go away because they don't get the attention they want.

[Y. Monkey]

For good or bad, it seems to me the people commenting should have the good sense to mind their manners and act like they would in a face to face situation. We know that does not always happen. For blogs that get as many comments as yours and Jane's, it would not be feasible to moderate everything without it taking over your existence. You either have to disable commenting if the content upsets you, or take any childish negativity in stride by ignoring it.

I was surprised to read you got a PC after having a Mac. That choice seemed incomprehensible :)

[The Tart]

Go back to the Mac!

Comments ... All part of blogging in my opinion. Minus those that are profane. It's what makes freedom of speech wonderful & validates we are not a bunch of "group thinkers" ... And isn't that what Art is - be it fashion or one's view of anything ... To be loved, discussed & sometimes not agreed upon. After all, if you didn't allow comments, why not just go publish a coffee table book & shut the blog down.

Onward!

Luv your bloggy - Comments & all,
The Tart
; *

[(always)alanna]

totally, TOTALLY agree. if you have something negative to say, then simply don't visit that blog. any confliction in opinions can be said kindly and constructively or kept to yourself.

as for the mac comment- im SO jealous. im dying for one myself!
xx

[Sheila]

Honestly, if I were in your shoes (!), I would be more worried about stalkers than an occasional mordant comment among the hundreds of sugary love letters Jane receives daily. Obviously this is happening because her blog is now not a secret among friends and friends of friends, but it is in the public eye, and the comments are being to reflect the psychological makeup of the public. There's no reason to take the venemous ones seriously. I suppose the convenient thing about the comments is that they allow you to gauge which of your posts are most successful and captivating simply by looking at the number of responses. You could leave it at that--just look at the nuber of posts and choose not to actually read them, since you are bound to find an occasionaly bad apple in your bunch. Coraggio! E tanti auguri da Firenze.

[Girl in the loft]

I love your blog and I hope you don't change a thing :)

Btw my mac is driving me crazy! please take it from me! it shuts down every 15 minutes if i leave it inactive :(

[judy aldridge]

Sheila--I have to wonder why you would sign in as Sea of Shoes and then talk to me about stalking? Hmmm--

[judy aldridge]

EMILY ROSE---tying to leave a comment for you, and I cannot on your blog--tried several different ways. Thanks for your well written response on this subject!!

[Jasmin]

Commenting - the eternal question! It's really a matter which each blogger has to make up their minds about themselves - some people are more sensitive than others. Personally I will not get offended if somebody leaves me an ill-spirited comment. I just end up feeling sorry for them. Why is it that people have to focus on the negatives of life, instead of enjoying all of its the beauty and delights? It never fails to boggle me why you read it, if you clearly don't like it? Probably because you are jealous and too scared to express your own creativity... I think it's like with any kind of bullying: you just have to rise above it, keep a positive attitude and leave them to live their LITTLE lives!

[judy aldridge]

Thanks for all the spirited and well considered "comments" on this subject. Couldn't get my Mac this morning--they were too busy, so I'm off for my 6:00 appointment now. Can't wait to see what else you guys have to say!! thanks!

[Jannette]

I am a long time PC user, when it was time to get a new laptop I really wanted a Mac but my boyfriend said that I would have lasted a few days before I got really annoyed with it. I wish I had the patience.

I love reading comments and I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but didn't everyone also get told as a child not to say horrible things to other people? I don't understand what someone has to gain by being so hurtful.

[Sue]

I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog, and one of the reasons I think I have not started it yet, is the very idea of getting mean feedback from the anonymous internet has me feeling somewhat hesitant. I have read some incredibly nasty comments on blogs and have been floored by the vitriol people post and frankly even feel! I am a positive person by nature, but also very sensitive. I applaud you and Jane for putting yourselves out there. At Jane's age, I surely would have fallen apart at even the hint of criticism, no matter how slight. At any rate, you and Jane are really both so inspirational and really make my day. Thanks!

[Lauren]

Part of me is waiting for the day that my blog is read by enough people that I get my very own troll. But I'm too small-potatoes for that.

[xAZD]

Definitely comments can be a great, constructive piece of a blog, but yes there are the mean people who choose to post harsh, uneccesary words. Kudos for having the guts to keep up your comments section despite the rude comments, because clearly some people love to comment and be constructive!

www.xAZDdesign.com

[Lauren Estep]

I totally agree, some people are just pointlessly rude! I love your blog and Jane's blog and have found some other pretty good blogs through your comment sections. I figure that most people who leave evil comments on your blog are either just jealous or spiteful for no real reason. Keep up the awesome blogging :)

[globalgal]

I've been blogging for 4 years now, and although I do not require registration, I do moderate my comments. Not that I really need to, as like Lauren at 04:10 PM, I am small potatoes. But I love that a conversation with my readers (ie my mother) is possible through the comment section.

I usually read through comments on bigger blogs if I am feeling inspired by the post. I want to know more and I want to know if there is more author/reader interaction in the comment section. It doesn't often happen, blog authors can be so busy, but it does make the Internet feel a little more personal. Speaking of personal, however, I believe that the decision to have a comment section is entirely up to the author. It is their *creation* after all.

[Sarah M. Winchester]

I think many blogs are strugeling with this issue. You want it to be an open forum, but still constructive and insightful. I respect that you want comments to be as unfiltered as possible, but I feel sometimes people comment without any responsibility for their words. Things they would never dream of saying in person, beyond the protection of their computer.
Jezabel.com address this issue in a very a funny but insightful way a few months ago, and instated some “rules of behavior” to comments on their site. I realize they are a large media site and have the staff to monitor every comment, but I admire their stance.
http://jezebel.com/376527/the-girls-guide-to-commenting-on-jezebel

On a side note: If you think about it, blogging is only 3 or so years old and commenting on blogs is a new to our cultural as well. With new technology comes new way of behaving and socializing.

[K]

wow, these comments, including a prior one i wrote, are all useless and bland, only proving your point. how do you resist stabbing yourself in the heart with a YSL trib heel with this kind of stupefied, voyeuristic peanut gallery? noblesse oblige! ; )

[chauss]

i have a comments section on my blog bc i love to hear from my readers.
some people are shy and dont want to email you until you have developed a rapport with someone thru comments.
my blog reveals very limited information about me bc i deliberately exclude discussing certain areas of my life until i consider someone a friend,
and i have met several amazing people who started out as cyber friends by commenting on my blog.
i love to write and i am a phone person. i really like conversing with my readers.
as moderator of my blog, i can hit delete if something is out of line.
i love interacting with readers. i try to get to know everyone who comments regularly on my blog on some level.
sometimes the comnnection is tiny, other times amazing.
i appreciate those that take the time to be sincere, and always try to raise my resonance. it makes it a lot easier to ignore negativity.
and bad energy has a nasty way of boomeranging right back at the person throwing it.
would love to hear from you sometime.

chauss
ckparis.blogspot.com

[Sapphire Li]

The majority of readers follow blogs through RSS feeds - they don't even read the comments. A comment might be pointless for not adding anything to the discussion but to be honest, most blog entries don't cover topics for which something weighty can be said about. Even a good one. A commment really just captures whatever the person felt after reading the blog.

As for meanness, it comes with the territory. Everyone on the Internet needs to get over it because it's almost never personal. People will be incredibly rude on here because there's a thrill to breaking social norms without any consequences.

[Emily Rose]

Hey Judy- it cracked me up that after all this talk, you weren't able to comment on my blog! haha, well I guess that's how these things go in life... A conversation about too many comments results in you not being able to leave one. Again, thanks for bringing up this idea in your post, I think it's great to get people thinking about these things as real issues, not just "blog" issues that don't have an effect in real life.

Emily

PS my contact info is on my blog for future reference

[Phyllisa]

First, let me begin by saying, I do not have a blog and that I am an anthropologist. I have a Ph.D and I am a professor. I find this topic especially interesting because I teach courses online and I have definitely seen a shift in how people treat one another as a result of email, PDAs, twitter, etc. As one person posted, people can make comments anonymously, thereby removing themselves from the repercussions of their "actions." People online now seem to feel justified in saying whatever they want to whomever they want. Yes, this can be seen as a way of stirring things up but what about human decency? Is respect for our fellow men and women obsolete? My students have just finished a fieldwork exercise where they were asked to observe human behavior and assess that behavior in terms of our understanding of culture. One of the overwhelming patterns was how often we avoid social contact when we find ourselves alone in public situations. Student after student remarked upon how socially inept people seem to be becoming. It appears to me that this social ineptness is spreading. How truly sad. I personally reflect upon how much I would miss if people like Judy and others did not create blogs. I applaud her. Please let us not make blogs yet another venue for the loss of human decency.

[Stacy]

The new jewelry on the site is an absolute riot! Some very unique and ridiculous-in-a-good-way pieces.

I admire your passion for finding bizarre little relics, as well as your eye for beauty. It's almost like you're a designer, you know? You get to pick and choose which things will get re-circulated, and your choices are an expression of your own personal taste.

[Laura]

My own blog is pretty new but I receive some comments. It's a photography blog and I post pictures almost every day. These comments encourage me to keep up taking photos and showing them on the net. Without these people I wouldn't post that much/at all.
I appreciate comments and I think they are one of the most important factors that keep you motivated. You will never be able to make everyone happy but if you get the impression that many people like your blog it helps a LOT.
I try to comment on every blog I read to give them feedback the same way I'd love them to do on my blog.
<3

[Susanne]

Hi!

I love your blog! It keeps such a high standard I couldn't even come up with anything negative to say.

What if you have to sign up with your personal information before making a comment. Don't know how that would work technical wise, but I think if you're not anonymous you would think twice before posting a negative comment.

Keep up the good work!

[wildgoose]

I don't usu read comments either because I read from Google Reader, and because many comments tend to be along the line of "you look fabulous", which adds nothing to the experience of reading the blog.

But wouldn't you feel the interaction element of the blog missing? After all, I think it's the interaction/comments of blogging that makes it so powerful and interesting for readers. Instead of say, reading a magazine.

My instinct is to say, ignore the malicious comments because there will always be detractors. On second thought, it might be better to delete them, so as to discourage the writers from coming back and posting. Not sure if that's too much work though.

[Peasona]

I assume you mean Lulu when you were referring to one of your favourite bloggers removing her comments section. I love Lulu! I feel like she receives a lot more negative comments than other bloggers - which makes no sense because she is so smart/beautiful/stylish/witty/kind. For ages I would read all the harsh comments and even though I found them offensive, I had just assumed Lulu would understand that they were just from some angry, self-loathing individual and be able to brush them off. It wasn't until she made that post saying that she was removing her comments section because the comments were so hurtful to her feelings that it even occurred to me that Lulu found them offensive also! And so I completely understand why she'd remove it; especially because the comments wouldn't even be about her outfits they would be comments about things like her personality, which they couldn't possibly know anything about anyway and have no place passing judgment on. It's terrible that she should be made to feel bad about anything and that now people like me who adore her can't tell her how much we love her posts just because of a bunch rude individuals.
What confuses me so much is that often it's pretty obvious it's the exact same person returning to the blog after every post to leave some obnoxious comment. If they hate the blogger so so much, then why don't they just stop visiting the blog? How mean/angry does someone have to be just to visit a blog they dislike just to leave a hateful comment.
P.S. I love my Macbook Pro - I highly recommend it.

[sioux]

Who makes negative comments on a blog, it's just a really envious person who is overwhelmed by his inability to be creative ... You are absolutely right to delete their comments, moreover I would flag and denounce these people and their blogs to the provider. I love your blog and I find that you and your daughter are two very creative people with some great ideas, with an excellent taste, and please do not ever give up the idea of going forward with the blog, it would be really bad the day I could not longer follow you on line.

[Sheila]

Judy, for no other reason than I worry about the bad apples out there, and I have a pessimistic view--and probably an unfairly pessimistic view-- of mankind (emphasis on 'man'!). But don't take my woeful words to heart: your blog is precious, escapist, creative fun, and the view you let the world have of the texture of your day-to-day lives is precisely what makes it so riveting. I can see expensive shoes on a number of sites, but where can I see them worn in shopping-mall parking lots and grassy fields that remind my of my own Texas childhood? It's a special thing. Thanks for sharing it! Un bacio.

[tcr]

In my humble opinion, I think your blog is not a democracy nor a town hall meeting. If the Gentle Reader does not like what you have posted, he/she should stop reading and/or write their negative opinion somewhere else.
My best to you and yours.
tcr | Nashville

[Keri]

For blogs with large readership, comments tend to take on a life of their own and become something to read by themselves, particularly when the blog is a lightning rod of sorts (e.g. Decorno). I can certainly see how that can be a concern and a sticky wicket - it may not be a view you want to endorse or perpetuate, but there it is in the comments section of your blog, for all to see. I just started blogging, and right now my little blog is like a deserted desert town with maybe one or two people passing through, so for me every comment still invokes a "yippee!" ( I haven't had a mean comment yet, and I'm sure it will bum me out when I eventually do.) I know there are others ways to gauge it, but comments tell you people are out there reading. Without comments on your blog, do you think you might start wondering who's reading, who's out there? It's kind of a strange thing to send your post into the ether, and there is definitely some reassurance in knowing it's not just going into a black hole. I guess that's important to me because I like the interactive potential of a blog.

[alexandra keller]

first of all, i'll never go back to a pc!
second, comment moderation was trial and error for me. first, i moderated, then i did not. after i received request for a charity contribution in my comments, i deleted the comment and went back to moderation. but if someone had wanted to request a contribution, why didn't they email me? it's right in my profile. i might have actually done it.
i tend to agree that if we blog, 'we're out there' and live in a fishbowl (recalling the whole craziness of your daughter 'dropping out of school'). comments can absolutely change the content of a blog. so, i wish more people would moderate themselves and remember that they, too, are in the fishbowl.
lastly, i find it unfortunate that one of your favorite bloggers removed the comment section. it's her blog, and she has the right, but i think i might be less likely to read it, perhaps.

[juliet]

I just love your blog and your store so much! You and Jane are both so amazing!

juliet xxx

[caroline in London]

I could never understand why anyone would leave unkind comments on a blog, unless of course the blog was completely moronic and deserved it ;). This blog however is utterly inspiring and I love it. This is not a sycophantic comment as I gain nothing from it. I find it hard to find things that are actually truly interesting and unique on the internet as this place is. I would imagine unkind comments come from jealousy at your clothes, design style, nice home and success. The people who leave comments like that are chewed up inside and not worth bothering with. Bessos x

[MªAngeles S.T.]

I have a blog and I don't edit the comments I want to know what people thinks. Of course, there are crazy people that just want to say stupid things, in that case I preffer tell them "If you don't like my blog, don't return again, you are free to chose"

[Donna]

It seems simple to me. If you don't care for a blog, don't read it. Particularly one like yours which, so far as I have read, steers clear of controversial topics like politics and religion, and focuses on sharing beautiful things. I feel strongly that the mean-spirited postings reflect on the writer. The relative anonymity of posting a comment makes it easy for cowards to judge harshly. However, I respect that you are not currently screening comments and seek to learn from any criticism you might receive.

[maggi j]

I'm very glad to hear you are mulling this over; I work with and study young female media makers, and so I have followed Jane's blog and noticed the incredible spike in reader comments, not all of them designed to match her motivation (fun, open, and yes, completely self-involved, of which: it's a blog, not journalism) and so I imagine that part of your equation (decision) is your young-enough daughter. I would imagine Jane has benefited from your life experience in navigating the web; and I'd use that here: what is the proper exposure for her, and what are your options for dealing with it? I completely disagree that bloggers have to swing in the breeze of public opinion, especially the young bloggers who, despite incredible sophistication, are more deeply affected by the social perception and reception of their image and writing. No answers, just data to back up greater barriers.

[Jasmin]

People are making so many good points about commenting here - stuff I've never even come to think of. I guess I'm sometimes to naive and/or don't care enough about mean people.. I left a more extensive comment about it yesterday.

I actually just wanted to let you guys know there is another topic that needs analyzing! I just wrote about the problems concerning the fur industry on my blog, and would really love to make it a discussion. You guys seem very opinionated, so let me know what you think and leave a comment! Thank you!

[Susan]

I don't understand comment sections if all they are accomplish is people blowing sunshine up the proverbial arse... Not that mean or cruel things are appropriate either.. The best blogs have a true continuation of the post by their readers (and is further contributed by the blogger). Moderation is always key. I also appreciate the blogs with disabled commentary. That's their right too. I just stop reading blogs with bad commentary or ones that inspire me to think/say mean things. Not worth it.

[Robyn.]

People who put themselves out there in the world for everyone to see should expect all sorts of responses coming back at them. However the people who take the time to comment have to realize that they need to be respectful of the work they are commenting on. There is really no reason to say cruel things on someone's blog...if you really don't like it, can't you just close the site instead?
I just started blogging a few months ago, and everyone who's commented has been so wonderful~ ^^

-Robyn

www.unraveltheturtle.blogspot.com

[Rebecca]

It's hard to explain, but I know what you mean by comments changing the content of a blog.

I take a pretty no frills approach to blog comments.

I don't comment much on yours or Jane's blog although I've been reading for a year or so now, because there's not much interesting to say. I don't know you personally, so there's no in jokes or whatever, and I could say 'beautiful outfit' or something, but I think you and Jane already know that, or else why would you post pictures of it?

The beautiful thing about blogging is that effectively, you are your own editor. The other great thing is that as this is the internet, you pretty much have anonymity, and the freedon that comes with that.

I'm not saying you should be a censoring maniac and delete any critical comments, because I feel like they're important in the world of blogging, especially if you choose to put your opinion about something out there, but if you want to delete certain comments because they're nasty, blatantly sycophantic, inappropriate, tasteless, or not a desired affiliation with your blog (ie: bluntly advertising unrelated sites), then it's your prerogative to do so, and you should exercise that.

I don't get a lot of comments, but if I do get something I don't like, it's gone.

I'm sure your readers, just like you did for the blog you like, will support your decisions.

[olwyn]

Macs are definitely my favourite as well. I'm just working on getting comments to be honest!

[girlcreeture]

You're absolutely right, blogs should be kept open for comments because when you do that you will undoubtedly receive comments that are constructive, supportive, and actually participate in the overall life of a blog.

The good with the bad is an understatement when it comes to online commentary though and that's why the ignore feature is a wonderful thing that allows bloggers some freedom to NOT censor their readers and readers the ability to choose whether they see trolls or not.

I've had a lot of experience not with blogs but with forums (pretty much the same thing as far as this topic is concerned) as my husband was editor for a high traffic entertainment website and the ignore feature is just a God-send most of the time (excepting those times when debate is just good publicity and we cannot deny that sometimes it is, even the juvenile sort...).

I also recently read an article about this subject in either Wired or Fast Conmpany (you may be able to find it online, it was about as far back as July) and it agreed that the best solution for troubling comments is the ignore feature.

The article basically discusses what we surely all remember from our schooldays: ignore the wanker and they'll shut up!

Eventually they'll go away too, when there's no one to respond to the negativity, which is always in your favor since you never actually had to delete or edit an offending remark let alone ask nicely for someone to knock it off.

This keeps you out of the fray and also makes it difficult for someone to point the finger at you for being a censor-happy blog owner, it's not you who did the "censoring" but your readers who are choosing to ignore specific comments.

Good luck with your growing popularity and I hope you can find some way to add "ignore" to the comments so you can relax a little and continue enjoying your blog!

[Sandy]

As always, thank you for your creative and insightful posts.

I always say to do what makes you happy and if it no longer pleases you, then do something else.

[annemarie]

Oh come on-- you cannot seriously expect universal adoration for a "shop and show" blog that documents you and your daughter's lavish spending sprees when the majority of human beings on the planet struggle to pay for basic needs.

I like your blog and the daughter's. Like the pictures, like the clothes, like the voyeuristic peep into other peoples' lives.

And I would never leave an intentionally hurtful comment on a person's blog. I write this only because you asked.

THE FACT IS, most people find the idea of burning through 5k on a single shopping spree quite disgusting.

Even if I have the money to do that some day (unlikely), I hope I never will.

[joelle van dyne]

i've seen a few blogs lately remove their comment section (and also one favorite of mine add hers back in after months of not having it). for awhile i never understood why people would get upset about a mean comment- i thought to myself, 'why pay any attention to someone who would spend their days leaving nasty comments?'. clearly there is something a little off about those people, because if they're so unhappy with your blog, why do they visit it in the first place? and why take things a step further and leave a comment when they could merely go visit another site? it's ridiculous.

however, when i received my 1st mean comment, it HURT! and it wasn't even that bad. so i can sympathize a little bit. i decided not to delete it, just to show the world that i didn't care (though really i did). and i tried to laugh it off. i didn't know what else to do. but i don't see anything wrong with deleting the comments like that either- whatever makes you feel better.

what really got me thinking as i read through your post and it's comments are the references to people being sycophantish, being overly complimentary, or gushing over a post. it seems that some people are really annoyed by those comments, and that puzzles me a little.

sure, it's nicer to get a well thought-out paragraph that gives you something to ponder about and/or discuss. but is it really so bad to get a quick compliment (even if it is over-the-top)? i think sometimes people just want to give a quick, nice comment to someone they admire.

i agree that it's annoying to get a short comment that ends in 'come check out MEEE on MY BLOG' with a big ol link added in below. i guess i just don't get the annoyance (and not of you personally Judy- i see this in lots of comments here and in other blogs) with a quick "you look great!" type of comment.

aaand now i'm feeling a little embarrassed- it occurs to me that maybe i just don't mind those because i'm insecure and/or vain and like to hear 'you look great' every now and again, lol. *shrugs*

[Trinity]

I really feel for you and Jane... As a reader, it pains me to see people post hateful messages on her blog... I cringe! I commend you both for your dignity and courage to be your true selves. I really appreciate your sites and I hope that you continue; it brings happiness and inspiration on my end. Situations like these are as pitiful as the woman who was charged with kissing the Cy Twombly painting... why did she have to ruin it with her warped passion... total selfishness; much like the posters who have to ruin a nice post with their self-righteous nonsensical blather -some posts seem so pathological and insane.
Hang in there; there are many of us who appreciate you both!!!

[Alison]

Dont get me wrong, I think that both you and Jane seem like nice, fun interesting people. I don't think you deserve the scathing criticism that you sometimes get...
but I do think that Annemarie has the most valid point of any of your critics.

On the other hand, it would be very easy to dislike you both because you're gorgeous, well off and seemingly happy. On a personal note, if I had the relationship with my mom that you and Jane have, I'd be over the moon.

However, sometimes (despite liking both of you) I can't help but be a little disgusted by the shopping sprees. beautiful purchases all, but kind of excessive when added together.

Finally, on the topic of "If you really hate the blog that much, you shouldn't visit it!"

Some people treat blogs like reality television. that much seems obvious to me. I think that the success of Jane's blog comes at a price and that is that some people read it just to hate her. because it is entertaining. Yes, its hurtful, its bitter...its essentially useless. but its normal. and I think that its a fair price to pay for the commercial success that Jane is currently enjoying. I don't deny that she deserves it. I am happy for her.

[tangiblecatharsis]

On a blog whose sole purpose is to showcase fashion, negative comments about an individual documenting their style is completely unwarranted. As Annemarie pontificates, “you cannot seriously expect universal adoration for a "shop and show" blog that documents you and your daughter's lavish spending sprees when the majority of human beings on the planet struggle to pay for basic needs.” This is true, complete adoration is not expected and criticism is part of the territory. However, the kind of criticism Jane and Judy are receiving is based on buying clothes and then showing them on their fashion blog. Heh, that’s the point of the blog—to showcase fashion... It has a very clean and structured purpose. For individuals looking to save the poor: visit UNICEF or CEDAW blog sites. It is hardly Judy and Jane’s fault that poverty exists. If you care so much about saving the world why spend so much time visiting fashion sites when you can go out and engage in charitable acts?

[Dru]

On the point of comment sections in general, it's what makes blogging fun for me- and I don't screen comments either. If people have to leave stupid comments about me (and they have done so in the past), I'd rather leave it out there as proof of THEIR idiocy to the rest of the world- why should I be ashamed?

But you do have to put yourself ahead of your blog and if there are hurtful things being said and it gets too much, you're perfectly well within your rights to do whatever you have to to deal with the trolls. Though I do think criticism (as opposed to merely trolling) is something that must be taken in one's stride if you place yourself in the public eye through even a space as limited as a blog. Though I do think that what Lulu was getting (and what Rumi gets even now) is plain trolling that wasn't even masking itself as legitimate criticism.

[Iron Chic]

Ughhh! If you don't have something interesting and/or challenging to say, why say anything at all? How do these commenters survive in this world of "mean people?"
Being "nice" is overated...Jane should erase all her suck-up comments and leave the juicy ones for us to enjoy. Why should she care? It would be nice if she addressed some of her comments sometimes to get a dialogue going.

[Carolina de Witte]

I'm very 'late' to this party, but I just wanted to say that after trying EVERYTHING, I finally made my blog private, I just could NOT deal with some of the awful comments, and they usually had NOTHING to do with the subject of the blog entry. I read many blogs, and love finding new ones that I enjoy, but seldom leave comments unless I honestly feel I have something to add to the conversation. I probably err on the side of 'timidity', and probably should leave at least ONE comment on each blog I read daily or weekly telling the author how much I enjoy reading it. (I just found yours tonight, and have already gone from the latest entry to here! So, obviously I'm enjoying it.) I wish there weren't so many awful, mean spirited COWARDLY jerks out there, I really miss getting as many new readers as I used to. But, since my blog deals with chronic illnesses, I do attract a lot of 'nuts'. Sad, as I know I have helped quite a few people, and if I hadn't had to 'privatise' my blog, I might be reaching even more. (BTW, I don't talk ONLY about illness, I share lots of happy things as well, so it isn't a heavy, morose blog at all.) Anyway, it really is a shame. I just don't have the energy to moderate every comment, so in the end I had no choice.